Are these funny or what!!! > > 7 reasons not to mess with children. > > A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales. > > The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to >swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat >was very small. > > The little girl: stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. > > Irritated, the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a >human; it was physically impossible. > > The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". > > The teacher: asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" > > The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him". > > > > A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children >while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each >child's work. > > As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked >what the drawing was. > > The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God." > > The teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks >like." > > Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl: >replied, "They will in a minute." > > > > A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with >her five and six year olds. > > After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy >Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our >brothers and sisters?" > > Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family) >answered, "Thou shall not kill." > > > > One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the >dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had >several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette >head. > > She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of >your hairs white, Mom?" > > Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong >and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." > > The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then >said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?" > > > > The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying >to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. > > "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown >up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a >doctor.' > > A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the >teacher, she's dead." > > > > A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. >Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my >head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in >the face." > > "Yes," the class said. > > "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary >position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" > > A little fellow shouted, > "Cause your feet ain't empty." > > > > The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary >school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The >nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: > > "Take only ONE. God is watching." > > Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table >was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. > > A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the >apples. > > > > It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if >it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too. > > > Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10 Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." John 20:28-30 | 
